More than 100 women gathered at CUW’s Living Grace Women’s Luncheon for fellowship, faith and encouragement for the holiday caregiving season.
The cookies, the cards, the Christmas Eve service. Holiday traditions can mean so much. But when you’re also caring for someone you love, even your favorite things can start to feel overwhelming. Consider the familiar airplane analogy. You know the one flight attendants share before takeoff: Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. It’s a reminder worth keeping when caring for someone else leaves little room to care for yourself.
Since November is National Family Caregivers Month, this message is especially timely. At Concordia University Wisconsin’s Living Grace Women’s Luncheon on Nov. 11, Susan Hurst, a medical and geriatric social worker with 30 years of experience, encouraged women to approach the holidays with realistic expectations, shared responsibilities and grace for themselves. Hosted by CUW’s Office of Advancement, the event took place at the River Club of Mequon.
The gathering began with a welcome and prayer from Jennifer Ankerberg, wife of President Erik Ankerberg. A student testimonial from senior Payton Steward and a university update from Executive Vice President Steve Taylor, EdD, preceded Hurst’s presentation, “Finding Balance During the Holidays.”
Faith in everyday life
Steward, an Appleton native studying human resources with a minor in business communications, shared a heartfelt reflection on how CUW has shaped her faith and career goals. She began MBA classes this semester and hopes to return to the Fox Valley after graduating in May.
“I chose Concordia because I wanted to study Human Resources with a foundation rooted in Christ,” Steward said. “I was looking for a place where I could gain practical, professional skills and also be formed as a Christian for today’s workplace.”
She described her time on CUW’s women’s tennis team as a blessing, with opportunities to encourage teammates through difficult losses and pray together before matches. Campus leadership roles have also helped prepare her to serve others through a career in HR.
“Over these four years, I’ve learned what it means to live for Christ in every setting, studying, competing, working, or resting,” Steward said. “I’ve learned that faith isn’t a separate box from academics or athletics, it’s the foundation under both.”
She also recognized the women’s support of her education.
“Your prayers, your hospitality, and your generous giving have made it possible for students like me to study and to grow in faith,” she said.
Her message resonated with attendee Colleen Mueller, who thought about her own grandchildren.
“This is exactly what I would hope for each of my college age grandchildren as they pursue their career goals and find their calling from the Lord,” Mueller said.
A family tradition
Following Steward’s speech, Taylor invited attendees to support CUW by praying, sharing its story, referring prospective students and giving.
Since 1996, Living Grace has brought women together for Christian growth and fellowship while strengthening their connection to CUW and its mission. The university hosts luncheons in late fall and early summer, welcoming alumnae, parents and community friends, particularly women from churches throughout the greater Milwaukee area.
For Mueller and her family, the gathering became a cherished tradition. Her father, Dick Schmidt, served as CUW’s development director, and her mother began attending before inviting Mueller and her sister, Holly, to join her.
“My mom is not able to attend anymore, at 98 years young, but my sister and I find ourselves carrying on this tradition!” Mueller said.
Now, the sisters are caring for their mother, who wishes to remain at home. They are considering assisted living, a possibility Mueller described as overwhelming. The Scripture passages Hurst shared reassured them of God’s strength and guidance as they navigate those decisions.
Their experience was one of many stories among the more than 100 women gathered, reflecting the encouragement Living Grace was created to offer.
Making room for what matters
During the presentation, Hurst acknowledged how holiday expectations can add to the daily demands of caregiving.
“What I want caregivers to remember is that they don’t have to create a perfect holiday to create a meaningful one and that they are not alone in their journey,” she said. “God sees their sacrifices, understands their struggles, and walks alongside them, even in the most difficult moments.”
Turning to the biblical account of Mary and Martha, Hurst noted that caregivers may relate to Martha’s frustration over everything that needs to be done. She encouraged making room for both serving others and sitting with Jesus, even through a brief prayer or devotion.
“Choosing presence over perfection means giving ourselves permission to let go of the expectation that everything needs to be done exactly as it always has been,” Hurst said.
Her suggestions for making the holidays more manageable included small, specific adjustments:
- Simplify the celebration. Choose a favorite tradition and scale back elsewhere, whether that means preparing a less complicated meal or baking fewer cookies.
- Consider a different schedule. An earlier Christmas Eve service may work better for an older adult or a family with young children.
- Ask for specific help. Someone could bring a meal, wrap gifts or stay with a loved one while the caregiver runs errands.
- Make space for quieter visits. Look through photo albums, listen to favorite Christmas carols or read the Christmas story together.
- Talk before the gathering. Let family members know about routines, energy limits and what help would make a difference.
“Simplifying holiday plans doesn’t mean you’re giving less love or care, and reaching out for help doesn’t mean you’re failing,” Hurst said. “Taking time for yourself doesn’t mean you’re being selfish.”
She pointed to Matthew 11:28 and Christ’s invitation to the weary and burdened to find rest in Him.
“If you feel guilty about taking time for yourself, I encourage you to replace the guilt with grace,” Hurst said. “Give yourself the same grace and compassion that you give others.”
To learn more about Living Grace and future gatherings, contact Michelle Buss at michelle.buss@cuw.edu or 262-243-4337.
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Concordia University Wisconsin is a Lutheran higher education community committed to helping students develop in mind, body and spirit for service to Christ in the Church and the world.